It’s all kind of crazy. And we might be crazy. My mom said so.
Life with her is “interesting” these days. (That’s Minnesota code for strange.) She yells often and loudly, usually for no apparent reason. Today I was putting out bathroom rugs, prepping for mom’s bath. Dad walked in carrying some towels to put in the linen closet. We could both hear Mom yelling angrily from the bed room, where she was sitting on the bed alone, “Stop it! Don’t do that to me! Don’t do that to ANYBODY!”
“Wow,” Dad said, “You’re really making her yell today.”
“Yep,” I replied, as I made sure the rugs covered the whole floor because she cries out that it’s cold if her bare foot touches it. “I’m pretty mean.”
She often sits alone yelling things like that. Sometimes she stops using words and just shouts, “Buh,buh,buh,buh, buh, buh……” Or she rolls her tongue and says, “Rd-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d…..” She’s surprisingly good at that.
As I was helping Mom get dressed today she said, “I’m crazy.”
“Are you? Do you really think you’re crazy?”
“A little bit,” she calmly said.
“Do you think I’m crazy?”
“Maybe,” she answered seriously.
“Are we all crazy?”
“Probably,” she replied.
After I got her bathed and dressed she went out to the other room, while I stayed behind to clean up the towels and bathroom. I heard her yelling for her Daddy. By the time I was out to join her I heard pounding. I found her in the kitchen, pounding on the stove with her fist, shouting, “Raymon! Come out!” …as if he was in the oven. Then she saw me and calmed down.
We sat down in the living room and she asked where Annabel was. I handed her the doll and Mom held it and looked into its face. She smiled and said sweetly and lovingly, “How are you? Are you a good little girl?”
And my heart melted a little as I saw that the gentle care-taker in my mom is still there. And a part of me wishes she would look at me like that again. I can’t remember the last time she asked me how I was, though she was always a very concerned mom when she knew she was one.
Somehow, this little baby doll draws out her mothering and her love. And it makes me smile to see a glimpse of the mom she was, and grateful for all the love she gave me. And sorry for how easily I took her love for granted.
And it makes me think how crazy and unpredictable life is. And it spurs me on to love the people around me now, while I can. While they’re here. While I know who I am and who they are, because who knows what life will bring.
So now, today let me make the most of this time. Let me dance with my husband in the kitchen, and hug my children tight. Let me take time to marvel at the lake diamonds with my friends and to stand shoulder to shoulder in worship with my church family.
And I pray I’ll be sensitive to God promptings, and reach out to those He nudges me towards. And I’ll lift all who I love up to my Abba, Father in prayer.
And I’ll do what I can for my Dad and treasure the tender moments with Mom.
In the crazy hum of it all.