My Anchor in the Storm

The hospice workers are pretty amazing. Such compassionate, gifted people. Today Mama had her hair shampooed and nails filed, by a hospice aid. And then a massage therapist came and somehow gently massaged Mama, as she reclined in her chair, for at least half an hour. And Mama never hollered once!

The hospice nurse visited as well and had some suggestions for us for her care. I’m so thankful for the support.

And yet I come home, after Mama is tucked in bed for a nap with Dad, and I feel exhausted. And I just want to curl up and cry.

It’s hard to see Mama struggling so much to get up. And to know she is bending over and struggling so to walk. It’s heartbreaking to see her stare blankly. I just want to do something to make her all better. I want my Mom back. I want to see her smile again. I want to hear her laugh.

I want her to look at me and know me again.

My eyes are misty. I feel weak. My heart literally aches.

As I fed Mama lunch today she reached out and gently patted my arm and played with my sleeve. And it was a sweet comfort. A loving touch.

And before Dad laid down in bed to nap with Mom, I took his place for a few minutes. And Mama snuggled against me and patted my back.

These are the tender mercies I savor.

I have brothers that do what they can to help. I am blessed with a husband who is so understanding and supportive and helpful. I have a daughter and son that are incredible caregivers to their grandma. And we have other great care givers that faithfully help us and now we also have the resources and support of hospice.

And these are the pillars I count on for help in holding Mama up.

And most importantly we have Jesus, the savior of our souls. And because of His death and resurrection, because He took the punishment for our sins, and because Mama believed in Him, I know she will be better than okay. She will be in paradise when God calls her Home. And we will be together again someday.

And then I will have my mom back. And I will see her smile again. And I will know she knows me. And I will hear her laugh once more.

And this is the certain hope I have, the anchor to my soul, in this turbulent storm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 thoughts on “My Anchor in the Storm

  1. Vickie says:

    Cheryl, what a beautiful, gifted writer you are. Thank you for sharing this journey you are on with your mother. I am so sorry for the heartache and loss you are experiencing. But thank goodness for your strong faith and hope in our Lord! That, along with your hospice team, and the love and support you have from family and friends will help you through this.

    I lost my beloved mother to Alzheimer’s after caring for her during the last few years of her life. My caregiving experience was a gift to myself, and I wouldn’t trade that time I had with her for anything in this world. When you talk of your experiences, I can completely relate to many–if not most–of them. You learn to cherish and appreciate those brief moments when you get a glimpse of your mom as she was before the disease changed her. Thank God for those times!

    No doubt, you are a huge help to so many other caregivers. Again, thank you again for sharing. And by doing so, I hope you are being blessed in the process. God bless you, Cheryl, as you continue on this journey.

    Vickie

    • chermor2 says:

      What a beautiful message, Vickie! Thank you for your sweet encouragement! You are one of God’s mercies to my soul today. May He comfort you and bless you. ~Cheryl

      • Vickie says:

        Thank you, Cheryl. What a kind and amazing person you are!
        I’ve shared your posts with a close friend of mine whose mom is also suffering from AD. I know you’ll be a source of strength for her also. May today be a good one for you and your mom. God bless.

  2. Joyce says:

    This is one of the most precious posts I have read!

  3. Bonnie Specchio says:

    I’m so sorry about your mom. My mom has had Alzheimer’s for 14 years. She cannot walk or talk. Her physical health is perfect, but my mom isn’t there anymore. There is no recognition in her eyes. When I bend down to kiss her she turns away. I miss her so much – we were best friends. So I know it is very hard, but enjoy the moments when your mom will touch or talk to you. God bless you all on this journey – it is one no one wants to take.

    Bonnie Specchio mrsspec@aol.com

    • chermor2 says:

      It is so hard, isn’t it Bonnie? I’m so sorry for your pain. I hope you have some sweet moments, too. May God give you grace and comfort on this challenging road. ~Cheryl

  4. Jill B says:

    Cheryl: How kind of the Lord to give you a wonderful support system both with hospice and with family. But I know there is the weight, the responsibility even with the support given. It is so hard to watch and wait as your loved one disappears bit by bit, day by day. The Lord hears your cry! He will continue to help you navigate with grace and strength through this emotional and physical maze of Alzheimer’s. Keep clinging to Jesus, our Rock, our Fortress, our Strong and Mighty Tower. Thank you again. Praying for you.

  5. ena says:

    such a sweet story of love and grace and grief and how they are co-mingled. And over and above all the love of God whose mercy is eternal. Peace be with you and your family as you share in such important care for your mother.

  6. Cheryl, you have written a beautiful legacy of your Mom. I am the founder of Eldermusic, Inc; we bring live interactive music sessions to the residents of Alzheimer’s facilities several times each week, and we also visit a Hospice facility. We just visited Faith Hospice again last night. We have seen many of our old friends progress from dementia care to Hospice care, but they always appreciate music! It’s so nice that you can be there for Mom. I have shared your blog with all of our volunteers.

  7. Lisa says:

    Thank you so much, Cheryl, for your beautiful, loving words. I’ve had a very difficult day today with my mom and am in the process of losing a beloved pet, and your writing is helping me put everything into perspective. God bless you and your mom – and Dad, too 🙂

    • chermor2 says:

      Thank you so much, Lisa. I’ve had a challenging day with my mom today and your sweet comment blesses my heart. I’m so thankful this post encourages you! I’m so sorry about your precious pet and your mother, though. May God give you grace. Thanks again! ~Cheryl

  8. Linda says:

    I cannot begin to tell you of the comfort your blog is to my soul. My husband has ALZ and we are not where you are yet with your Mom, but we will be before long. I read every word you right more than once and am so thankful for them. You are such a blessing to me. I just wanted you to know!

    • chermor2 says:

      Linda, I am so sorry your husband has ALZ. And I’m so grateful that my blog gives you comfort! In the midst of a very challenging week, and a gray, cloudy day, your sweet words bring me sunshine and strength. Thank you! ~Cheryl

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